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May 20th, 2005

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11:01 pm - Confused
This week hasn't been very good... it went by really slow, and I was dead tired all week. I took a nap almost everyday after school.

Last night, I was talkin to Sara and Steve online, and Sara started askin me questions about Kevin, like if I still wanna b his friend and stuff... and I was like, not really. Apparently, he called her to ask 4 advice about me cuz he said he misses me, but he's like afraid 2 talk 2 me. Steve told Sara 2 read my previous entry 2 him, so she did... She told him 2 call me early cuz I can't get calls 2 late, so he called me at like a quarter 2 ten, and told me 2 call his house at 10:15. So I called his house, no answer. Called back 2 more times, and finally at 10:45 I just decided to 2 go bed cuz I was tired anyway.

I didn't see him at school until 6th hour cuz that's the only class he goes to... For the last 20 min of class ppl were just talkin and chillin, and he was w/ some other ppl, so I waited out in the hall 4 the bell 2 ring. Like 1 min b4 it did, he came out, and acted like I wasn't there, so I walked away. I was pretty pissed off..

Surprisingly, he called me at like 10 or something 2night, and started talkin 2 me. He said that my other entry made him cry... and I didn't really know what 2 say 2 that. It's weird talkin 2 him now cuz we're basically strangers. He said he wants to see me, so we can talk in person, so 2morrow he told me 2 call him... I told him if he ditches me I'm gonna b really pissed, and he was like, Oh, I wouldn't do that. And I was like, well ya have b4, and hes like yeah... All I know is that if he ditches me, I really won't give him anymore chances, cuz that's ridiculous.

I guess I'm somewhat happy... but at the same time, I'm really doubtful, because I expect my friends to be there 4 me, and treat me with respect and not ditch me. And I'm not sure if Kevin is really capable of that anymore... It will take a long time 4 me 2 trust him again, and idk if he'll be able to earn it w/o screwing me over, whether it be intentional or not. O well, I'm just gonna try 2 not worry about it and see what happens I guess...
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: Burn-Usher

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